A New Year in Japan | On The Road Ep. 2 (Video)

Words, photos, and video by Boru McCullagh

The thought of seeing family again after so long being away from home is one that’s difficult to not fixate on, especially when it comes to the holidays. In 2023, I spent Christmas in Ho Chi Minh City by myself, at the local bike shop, giving my bike a deep clean and hunting around for some new brake pads. I knew in the back of my mind it was Christmas, but really it was like any other day: normal and full of the logistical chores that make up a bikepacking trip. There was nothing Christmassy about it except for the date.

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My second Christmas away from home, however, would much more closely resemble what I’d missed so much the year before. In mid-November, my parents confirmed they’d fly out to Japan for us to spend Christmas and New Year’s together. I couldn’t have been more excited as I cycled closer and closer towards Tokyo, where I’d leave my bike at the Specialized store before getting the bullet train down to Osaka to meet them.

It was a beautiful time and acted as a holiday away from the bike and journey I’ve been on for the last year and a half. I’d looked forward to seeing family again for so long that once it became something tangible, it took on a very surreal feeling. It was a goal to finally all be there together, a finish line I’d reached, and crossing that line was such a victory.

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But what I hadn’t realised in the build-up of that anticipation was what would happen, and how I would react, to seeing everyone leave. Over the last year and a half, I’d dealt with homesickness and grown somewhat immune to the fact that as much as I wanted to see friends and family again, it would only be after I’d completed my goal that it would happen. And there I was, having to deal with that reconciliation all over again as if it was my first time going through it.

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I felt so isolated in those first few weeks of riding in 2024 that it leached into all aspects of my day to day life. I went for days and days without speaking to anyone. I rode, I camped, I slept. Colder and colder each night as I pushed into the mountains, again and again. To some people, that will sound like absolute joy, riding and getting away from it all. And at another time, that’s also what I’d want, but after bikepacking for so long, there are times when you want to immerse yourself in nature, and times when you want to be immersed in humanity.

I was drifting further and further away from where I wanted to be, and as I opposed the loneliness I was feeling, the worse it grew. There’s no such thing as willing yourself out of something you don’t want to feel – emotions have a habit of rearing their heads when you try to go about it that way. I knew something had to change, and it wouldn’t come about from running away from the problem. Emotions are there to guide, not dictate, despite it feeling like the opposite more often than not.

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As I realised this again, I started being drawn back to the path I wanted to be on and removed the overwhelming sense of dread that was hanging over me. I met and stayed with some amazing people, had daily interactions that uplifted my spirit, and didn’t feel ruled by the emotions I’d been trying to oppose. I surrendered to them in an attempt to understand them, and it propelled me forward again. This second episode of On the Road captures these experiences.

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If you missed either excellent “Mind Mapping” film or the first episode of “On The Road,” be sure to get caught up on those via the links below.

Further Reading

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